*Teaching Children for the Lord*Deuteronomy 6:5-9*


* The attitude and motive of our heart as Wives, Mothers and Keepers of the Home is very important *

"And whatever ye do, do it heartily as unto God and not unto men, knowing that of God ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance; for ye serve Christ." Colossians 3:23 & 24


Thursday, August 29, 2013

My how the time flies it has been 3 years since I posted last. We have had a run of very bad luck and we have not been stable in our living arrangements, things are still a bit on the down side right at the moment, but we are working on that.

Jaysen our grandson has started his special needs school last week. The girls and I are starting their school after Labor day this year. Jasmine who is now 13 is doing okay in school in the past, but math she is not getting so good. But now Abigail who is 8,  is doing great and above her fellow friends in most of her studies! Esther is now 5 and will be starting kindergarten this year, we will be teaching her the alphabet and numbers this year. We have been working with her a bit last year with this, but not in detail or length. This year she will be in full swing of it! 

Abigail is wanting to take a foreign language as well as them ALL learning sign language this year. We will be buckling down this year since they are all going to be schooled and I won't have the stress of tending to 2 small babies, one being a special needs child. Since he is in a special school now, which he seems to LOVE!!! We are hoping with all his teachers and their experience that he will soon be growing and learning more than I can ever begin to teach him.

After we move I will be trying to get internet on at our place, but right now I have to come to the library to get on here. All prays for our family is GREATLY appreciated. Well this is an update on us and how we are doing. I will try to post more as we go along. Blessings to all. 

                                                                ~ Country Mama ~

Thursday, October 14, 2010

It's been a LONG time since I've posted...

Alot has been going on in our little Homestead and things have been a bit haywire and I was out of internet access for about 4 months or so, but Praise God I am back on!!! Lord willing I will be posting more about our schooling and field trips more regularly.

I am here at the Seizer Doctor for/with my youngest brother-29. He has not been able to drive for 3 years now because of his seizers. Could you imagine not being able to drive at that young age? Bless his heart. Anyways we are here and he is ready to go, so I will close for now and post again in the next day or two.


~Christian Country Mama~

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A Woman's Divine Order

The first woman was made specifically for the first man-- a helper, to meet, respond to, surrender to, and complement him. The Creator made her from the man---bone of his bone, and then He brought her to the man. When Adam named Eve, he accepted responsibility to "husband" her---to provide for her, cherish and protect her. These two people together represent the image of the Creator -- one of them in a special way the initiator, the other the responder. Neither the one nor the other was adequate alone to bear the divine image of God.

The Creator put these two in a perfect place and -- you know the rest of the story. Eve, in her refusal to accept the will of Almighty God, refused her femininity. Adam, in his yielding to her suggestion, abdicated his responsibility for her. It was the first instance of what we would recognize now as "role reversal." This defiant disobedience ruined the original divine order of man and women and things have gradually deteriorated.

Even in their rebellion against His Divine Order, the heavenly Father did not abandon His self-willed Children. In His inexorable Love, He demonstrated the exact pattern for man and woman by calling Himself a Protector and Provider of Israel His Beloved. He rescued her, called her by name, wooed and won her. God was deeply grieved when His Wife went whoring after other (lovers) deities.

In the New Testament we find the mystery of marriage again in the inexpressible relationship between Jesus and the Church: the husband standing for Messiah in his headship and the wife standing for the Church in her submission. Think of a bride! She surrenders her independence, her name, her destiny, her will, herself, to the bridegroom in a public ceremony, before Almighty God and witnesses. Then, in the marriage chamber, she surrenders her body to her husband. As a mother she makes a new surrender -- it is her life for the life of the child. This is most profoundly what women were made for; married or single the special calling of the virgin is to surrender herself in service to her Master, Jesus Christ, her husband, her children, and her sisters in the Church. The Creator's Divine Order for man and woman is not to be shuffled about and rearranged according to the whims of men.

In setting forth the submission and surrender of the woman, a young virgin (Mary) is visited by an angel and given some fairly stunning news about becoming the mother of the only Begotten Son of God. Unlike Eve, whose response to God's Divine Order was calculating and selfish, the virgin Mary's answer holds no hesitation, concern about risks, losses or interruption of her own plans---only utter and unconditional sacrifice and surrender of self. (Luke 1:38) .

The gentle and quiet spirit of which Peter speaks, calling it a spirit "of great worth in God's sight" (1 Peter 3:4), is true womanhood, which found its epitome in Mary's willingness to be a vessel, hidden and unknown except as Somebody's mother. This is the true mother-spirit, so absent in many of today's women who seek liberation from the biblical truths concerning womanhood, instead of fulfillment and surrender to the Creator's Divine Order.

God has given His Daughters spiritual gifts that are meant to bless those in her household and others in the Body of Christ. Women should not use their gifts to usurp the authority of their husband. Our desire should be to be a woman, holy through and through, asking for nothing except what the heavenly Father has ordained as our destiny and being proud to fulfill that destiny.

Attributes of a Woman

Titus 3; 1 Peter 3; Proverbs 31; 1 Corinthians 11:1-16

She is at peace with God, herself and others.

She is surrendered to Jesus Christ as her Spiritual Head and her husband as head of the family.

She has a meek and quiet spirit.

She has a servant's heart.

She does not call attention to her physical beauty, but seeks the inner beauty of a meek and quiet spirit.

She considers homemaking a high and noble call.

She is a joyful person.

She is a woman of prayer and devotion to God.

She has learned the secret of Isaiah 26:3

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusteth in Thee.

© Copyright 2002 Norma Daulton

Monday, June 7, 2010

The girls and I did a study of this last year...

And I wanted to post this, because I think I am going to print this off and us do a study of it again this year. The difference being us having it printed off instead of reading it out of the book at the library. If you Love the Old West like me then please go and check it out at the library. They had some pretty good illustrations in there, too.

Packing the Wagons?!

So what was inside all those wagons?

Everything that would fit. Anything you needed on the trip, or would need when you arrived, you had to take with you. There wasn't any real stores out west. There were a few forts, but if they had any extra supplies when you got there, they'd be wildly expensive.

Can you guess how the pioneers kept their eggs and fragile dishes safe in the bumpy wagons? ...They packed them in their barrels of flour and cornmeal!

Pioneers packed their wagons with hundreds of pounds of food-per person! For each traveler, guides recommended bringing at least 200 lbs of flour, 75 lbs of bacon, 30 lbs of hardtack {hard bread}, 25 lbs of sugar, 10 lbs of rice, 10 lbs of salt, 5 lbs of coffee, 2 lbs of tea, and various amounts of dried beans and fruit, baking soda, and cornmeal. Along with all that, families crammed the wagons with pots and pans, dishes, extra clothing, tools and spare wagon parts, medicine, sewing supplies, and cash {for toll bridges, ferries, and the purchase of replacement wagon parts or food along the way}. Pioneers also managed to squeeze in pieces of furniture, cook stoves, books, and a few keepsakes. All this in the space only about as big as a minivan!

A Day on the Trail...Part 1

What served as an alarm clock on the trail?

Rifles shot into the air-at 4:00 A.M.! If you were a pioneer, your day started before sunrise. Before the wagons were on their way at 7:00 A.M., there was much to do. In the darkness, the women and older girls began building fires. They cooked breakfast, took care of the babies and young children, cleaned up, pulled down tents, and packed the wagons. At the same time, men and boys rounded up cattle, yoked the oxen, and went hunting. Younger children helped gather fuel for the fire, fed the animals, and milked the cows.

How would you like to do all those chores--before school???

A Day on the Trail...Part 2


If you've had pancakes and bacon, you have. The pioneers liked to start the day with a hearty breakfast. They usually had some combination of bacon and cornmeal cakes, pancakes, or hardtack {hards bread}; sometimes with beans, fried meat, and gravy. Everyone, including children, drank coffee because plain water often tasted so bad that even animals would not drink it. Some families drove their cattle along with them, so they had fresh milk to drink.

Lunch meant cold leftovers, and the evening meal brought more of the same if the men had bad luck hunting. Fresh meat, fish, and wild berries were favorite trail meals.


Pioneers liked these chips, but not as snacks! Buffalo chips were dried buffalo droppings. Because they burned well the chips were handy for lighting cooking fires on the treeless plains. Children found other uses for the chips as well, such as throwing them at one another or seeing who could make them sail the farthest. How would you like to toss that kind of Frisbee? LOL


Because they had tall white canvas tops that looked like ships' sails. When wagons traveled across the Great Plains {the wide open prairies, or grasslands, of the American Midwest}, tall prairie grasses hid the wagons' wheels from view and made the wagons look, from a distance, like a fleet of ships in an ocean of grass. So wagons were nicknamed "prairie schooners" or "ships of the plains."

The best prairie schooners were strong, to lightweight. To help make them waterproof, pioneers covered the wooden bottom with tar and the white canvas top with oil. The top, which was stretched over five or six U-shapped bows, could be closed in the back using a drawstring if the weather was bad. Hooks on the inside and outside of the wagon held milk cans, tools, and women's bonnets. Spare wagon parts were stored underneath the flooring.

Trail Chores...


About as often as they bathed--not very often at all!

Most pioneers wore the same dirt-encrusted clothes day after day. It wasn't easy to find clean water for washing, which pioneer women probably thought was just as well. Laundry was an awful chore that took the entire day.

To keep their dresses from dragging in the mud, women wore their skirts a little higher than they had back home. A few daring women wore the new fashion of bloomers, or loose pants that were gathered at the ankles. Men and boys wore linen or woolen pants and shirts. To protect their faces and eyes from the sun, men and boys wore wide-brimmed hats and women and girls wore bonnets. Everyone wore sturdy shoes or boots.


Since there was no school to attend, some parents gave their children lessons on the trail. Other children just read the few books they brought along, kept journals, and wrote letters to friends and family.

But even more than spelling and math, children's biggest lessons were probably the ones taught by trail life itself. Pioneer children learned how to identify new plants and animals, how to fix things when they broke, and how to invent and adjust to new ways of doing things {like using buffalo chips for firewood!}.

Parents learned things along the trail, too.
Pioneer women discovered that the bumpy
wagons churned their butter for them if they
just left the milk can hanging on its hook!



From those who'd gone before them. By 1845, many pioneers owned guidebooks, like The Emigrants' Guide to Oregon and California, written by scouts and earlier travelers. The books described landmarks along the trail and gave advice on where best to cross rivers and camp for the night.

To see for themselves what was coming up, some members of the wagon train rode ahead on horses. An even better source of information, pioneers found, was a message system called the "roadside telegraph": notes from earlier travelers scrawled on paper and attached to trees, placed under rocks, or wedged into notched sticks stuck into the ground. Other times pioneers painted their messages right onto rocks or onto the skulls of cows, oxen, deer, or even humans. Some messages were notes to friends, but others warned of danger. One message read, "Look at this--look at this! The water here is poison, and we have lost six of our cattle. Do not let your cattle drink on this bottom."

**Sometimes pioneers learned what was up ahead from go-backs, discouraged pioneers who had turned around to go back east. These travelers were said to have " seen the elephant" This expression suggested they'd seen something new and different-the hardships of the West-and didn't want any part of it.

Trail Dangers


a) accidents
b) sickness
c) Indians
d) buffalo

All these things were dangerous, but the answer is b. Of the thousands of pioneers who died on the journey west, most were victims of diseases such as cholera, measles, small pox, typhoid, or dysentery. Pioneers did have medicines and herbs, but no one knew much about treating these diseases.

Accidents were the next biggest cause of death. Children fell from the wagon and were crushed under its wheels; people were trampled in buffalo stampedes or drowned during river crossings; men on watch at night shot one another by accident. Travelers got lost, starved, froze to death, or unknowingly drank alkali water, which contained deadly mineral salts. Very few were killed by Indians. {In fact, pioneers killed more Indians than the other way around.}

No one knows how many pioneers traveled west on the overland trails, but the number is probably somewhere between 250,000 and 650,000. We do know that at least 20,000 people died on the journey, which averages about ten graves per mile of trail.


Sometimes they fought, but most meetings were peaceful enough. Indians often came up to wagon trains, hoping to trade buffalo meat or horses for guns, tobacco, cloth, food, or metal fishing hooks. Some Indians even acted as scouts or helped ferry pioneers across rivers. Indians who looked warlike were usually headed to fight an enemy tribe, though some young tricksters did like to steal pioneers' animals. Still, pioneers were afraid of the Indians. In 1847, the United States government set up forts along the trails to help protect the pioneers.


In a furniture graveyard along the trail! As wagons headed into the mountains, many families had to lighten their loads for the tired oxen. Heavy stoves and furniture were often left behind, no matter how treasured they were. Pioneers abandoned dressers, tables, chairs, food, books, stoves, fine china, trunks, tools, bedding, and even a piano.

Frontier Life


Reaching the end of it! Actually, the dangers and difficulties of the trail were only the beginning of hardships the pioneers would face. By the time they arrived in Oregon or California, pioneers were exhausted. Most were nearly, if not completely. out of supplies. But there was no time to waste. Winter was coming quickly, and they needed a place to live.

Many pioneers built temporary houses called "lean-twos"--simple log shelters left open on one side--to live in while they began working on a cabin. Others lived in their wagons while they worked. {OH, HOW TIRED THEY WERE OF THOSE WAGONS!~NOT ME!!!} Then they took their wagons apart and used the wood to build furniture or pieces of their new home.


a} three weeks b} two months

c} one day d} one year

Believe it or not, the answer is c. It took a long time to clear the land and prepare logs for a cabin. Still, if a family did that ahead of time and the neighbors came to help, they needed only one day to raise a one-room log cabin. {Pioneer families could raise log cabins all by themselves; it just took longer.}


Because more children meant more pairs of hands to help do the work. In Pioneer days, people worked from sunup to sundown. They had to make everything from soap to bread to candles to clothes by hand.

Even the youngest children had chores to do. They gathered eggs, nuts, berries, and fuel for fires. They weeded the gardens, fed the chickens, and watched the fields to drive away squirrels and birds who ate the corn. Older children helped make jams, jellies, butter, candles, soap, and medicines. They fetched water, milked cows, plowed, planted, washed, ironed, mended, and looked after the younger children. No wonder one pioneer woman wrote, "A lazy person should never think of going to Oregon."


A little. In the early days of the frontier, children were taught at home because people lived so far away from one another. Even when more settlers arrived, some children did not go to school because their parents needed their help at home. Those who did go usually attended one-room schoolhouses where children of all ages were taught together. Often the teacher wasn't much older than some of his students!

Some teachers had a hard time making teenage boys behave. Young men who had driven teams of oxen across the continent and maybe even fought Indians or shot grizzlies didn't want to be told what to do! One California teacher made it clear he was the boss by placing a six-shooter on his desk on the first day of school and saying, "We're here to learn. If anyone misbehaves, there's going to be trouble."

It wasn't all work on the frontier. Children did find time to climb trees, jump rope, visit swimming holes, and play tag, hopscotch, and hide-and-seek. They also played with homemade marbles, checkers, tops, and rag or corn husk dolls.


Yes, but at first you'd have to wait a long time for letters because mail service wasn't very regular. When stagecoaches began running in 1858, mail service got much better.

Even speedier than the stagecoaches was the Pony Express. This famous mail service from St. Joseph, Missouri, to Sacramento, California, whisked letters across nearly 2,000 miles in just ten days. Brave young horseback riders rode at top speed all day and all night, even in snow and sleet or through the desert. Each rider rode 70 miles and changed horses six times before he handed the mail off to the next man. The Express was in business about nineteen months before telegraph lines connecting the East and West made it unnecessary in 1861.

Settling the Plains


Because they thought the wide-open spaces between the Mississippi River and the Rocky Mountains were much too...plain. Early explorers had looked over the flat, windy, treeless land and named it "The Great American Desert." For many years pioneers believed the plains could not be farmed and were a place fit only for Indians.


As areas farther west filled up. many people were still hungry for land. To open room on the plains, the United States government began pushing Indians who lived there onto reservations, or small pieces of land that were set aside for them. In 1862, the government passed the Homestead Act. This act gave 160 acres of land {about nine football fields' worth} to anyone who paid a $10 filing fee and agreed to work and improve the land for five years. Within months, thousands of settlers had moved to Kansas and Nebraska. They found out the land they now owned was no desert, but it was dry and challenging to farm.

So many Germans settled in Kansas
and Nebraska that some Indians
there learned German, not English,
as a second language!


The same way you light a fire without it--you use what's there. Pioneers who settled on the Great Plains became known as "sod busters" because they cut up the sod {grass with the roots and dirt still attached} to clear fields and build their houses. These sturdy "soddies" were cool in the summer and warm in the winter, and they wouldn't go up in flames in a prairie fire. Even so, the houses leaked when it rained and were impossible to keep clean. Worse, snakes and mice were known to work their way through the sod walls and ceiling and occasionally "drop in" for dinner!

One homesteader, a doctor named Brewster Higley,
was so fond of his new Kansas home that he wrote
a poem about it in 1872. The following year, a
neighbor set the poem to music, and soon
everyone was singing "Home on the Range":

Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam,
Where the deer and the antelope play,
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.


a} flooding and tornadoes

b} drought, dust storms, and prairie fires

c} blizzards and frigid winters

d} grasshoppers devouring crops

e} loneliness

Take your pick--all these dangers were part of living on the plains. Tornadoes and floods in the spring gave way to hail storms and drought in the summer. Hot, dry weather stirred up dust storms and made conditions perfect for prairie fires. Some years grasshoppers flew in and ate nearly everything in sight, ruining crops in a matter of hours. The insects would eat leather, cloth, curtains, fence posts, door frames, and food in cupboards. When winter came bitter cold and blizzards killed people caught outside.

But for some, the worst thing was the year-round loneliness. Neighbors could be a mile or two away, but sometimes as distant as thirty miles. The whole world seemed to be only grass and sky and sky and grass.

One woman of the plains became famous
for her series of Little House books, which
describe her life on the prairie. You
might've read these books. Do you know
who the woman is?

{Answer: Laura Ingalls Wilder}

The Great California Gold Rush


They were the thousands and thousands of gold seekers who rushed to California in 1849 {get it?--forty-niner's?}in hopes of getting rich. In 1848, a carpenter named James Marshall had found gold in a stream near Sutter's Mill, California. Word of his discovery spread like wildfire. Gold hunters streamed in from across America and around the world.


No. It was awfully hard work, and people rarely struck it rich. Miners spent long days squatting at the edge of a stream, shoveling and picking at rock, shaking their heavy pans to clear the gold specks from the dirt. They worked in wind and rain and sometimes even stood waist deep in freezing water.

Most miners were young, single men. They lived in rough-and-tumble camps and towns that had equally rough-and-tumble names: Poverty Hill, You Bet, Squabble town, Git Up and Git, Mad Ox Ravine, Chuckle head Diggings, and Humbug Canyon were just some of the most descriptive.


The Chinese. Many Chinese sailed across the Pacific Ocean when they heard about the gold rush because there were wars going on in China and lots of people there were out of work. But life in California wasn't much better for the Chinese. When frustrated white gold hunters didn't get rich, they wanted someone to take out their anger on someone. They picked the Chinese. Soon Chinese immigrants were forced into jobs like washing clothes or rolling cigars. They had to live apart from everyone else, they had no rights, and they had to pay extra taxes. Many eventually went home. Those who stayed often started China towns in the cities where they settled.



False! Most of the people who got rich from the gold rush made their money from the miners, not from the gold. How? All those thousands of miners needed food, clothing, and supplies. Prices went sky-high: Flour was $800 a barrel; shovels were $100 a piece. The miners especially needed sturdy pants to wear while they bent, dug, and squatted. The pants that were invented to meet their need might be the same kind you're wearing right now--jeans, made by Levi Strauss.{Well those of y'all that may where pants.}

Indian Removal



True. Unfortunately, they moved for an entirely different reason--they were forced.

From the time Columbus landed in North America, Indians' lives would never be the same. At first, Indians and Europeans often met as friends and traders. But the friendships didn't last long. The newcomers wanted land, and the land belonged to the Indians. As the settlers pushed farther into Indian lands, they fought the Indians, took their land without asking, and signed treaties {agreements between nations} forcing or tricking them into giving it up.

In 1830, President Andrew Jackson signed the Indian Removal Act. This meant that Indians in the East were forced to leave their homelands and go to the Indian Territory west of the Mississippi River.


The Trail of Tears, or the "Trail Where They Cried," as the Cherokees called it, was a terrible forced march from the tribe's sacred homelands in Georgia, North Carolina, and Tennessee to the Indian Territory in the West. In the late 1830's soldiers forced young and old at bayonet point through blinding blizzards and freezing temperatures. Four thousand Cherokees, or one in every four, died of cold and starvation on the journey. More died of disease and poor living conditions once they reached the hot, dry land that is now Oklahoma.


At first, the coming of white settlers seemed to many Indians to be a good thing. A number of Indian tribes, including the Dakota, Comanche, and Cheyenne, lived on the Great Plains in the 1800's. The tribes that were part of the fur trade especially liked getting guns and other goods that made them more powerful than their enemies.

But soon the Indians realized that the white people brought bad things, too. The worst, more deadly than any weapon, was disease. European germs such as smallpox, measles, and influenza wiped out huge numbers of Indians across North America.



Cowboys. Not all pioneers came west to claim land and settle down. Some came to ride the wide-open spaces, rope cattle, and make their living as cowboys. Most cowboys were young, poor, and had little education {another words, not much schooling!!! LOL} They came from many places--the South, the East, the Midwest, and even as far as Europe. About one in six was Mexican, and about the same number were black. Some were full- or half-blood Indians. Some weren't cowboys at all--THEY WERE COWGIRLS!!!



False. Cowboys' days were dirty, dangerous, and often dull. Their job was to poke, prod, and guide longhorn cattle north from Texas to railway towns on the plains. For each day cowboys were on a cattle drive {which took two to three months}, they spent at least fourteen hours on horseback. Cowboys rode through quicksand, among rattlesnakes, insects, and hostile Indian tribes, and in sun, rain, wind, sleet, hail, and even snow. Their days were so long and their pay so low that only one out of three cowboys returned for more than one drive.

One of the most famous cowboys was a former slave named Nat Love. In a rodeo in 1876, Nat won so many roping and shooting contests that he was nicknamed "Deadwood Dick." Another former slave, Bill Pickett, became a famous rodeo star for inventing bulldogging, or wrestling a steer to the ground by pulling on its horns. Sometimes he would drag it down while biting its lower lip!


Not ten gallons! In fact, the word gallon probably came from the Spanish word galo'n, referring to the braid around the hat. But a sturdy, wide-brimmed hat could hold enough water to refresh a cowboy's horse. It also served as an eye shade when he took a nap, a fan when he was hot, and a mini-umbrella that protected him from sun and rain.

A cowboy also wouldn't be much of a wrangler without his trusty....

* chaps, worn over his pants to protect his legs

* bandanna, to keep the dust out of his nose and mouth

* boots, to keep his feet in the saddle and protect him from thorns and snakes

* spurs, to urge his horse on

* lariat, or rope, to catch stray cattle;

and--most of all--

* his saddle, which was his driver's seat, his office, and often his pillow at night

The following articles .. were borrowed from "The Pioneers" by Kenneth C. Davis.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Journey to Becoming a Committed CHRISTian

By: Julia M. Faulkner


I remember when my husband and I first married and I began attending the Baptist church he had grown up in. One of my first impressions was that these people sure had a funny way of talking about things! I mean, every time I turned around I was hearing about the Lord! "The Lord has been so good to me!" "Just give it to the Lord." "I just want to the thank the Lord for saving me." And so on.

I really thought these folks were strange. In fact, it made me very nervous. You see, I had not grown up hearing people talk about Jesus and His Father in such a way. It was very foreign to me. There was definitely something different in their walk with the Lord! I knew that these people's Christian lives were different than any I had ever witnessed in my life. It was all very strange and confusing to me. I could never quite put my finger on what it was the bothered me so much. As much as I wanted to, as much as I loved God and tried to follow Him, I could not speak of the Lord as these people did.

But praise God! I can today! Why? Because 6 years ago the Lord saved my soul from eternal damnation! I have a reason to be able to openly praise His name and thank Him for His blessings. I can freely speak His name because now I truly know Him. You see, it's very hard to talk of someone and praise someone you do not know. And now I do know Jesus personally!

It did take some time for me to be able to get to this place. I was saved probably about 2? years before I started making an effort to draw closer to the Lord. I knew there were things as a Christian that I should (and shouldn't) have been doing. When I finally took those first feeble steps in my Christian walk, a whole new world was opened up to me.

What happened? I guess you could say I became a committed Christian. I had that desire to grow closer to the Lord and I did something about it! I wanted to be the best Christian I could be. But I had to start somewhere and that is what I want to share with you today. I want to lead you in some steps to becoming a committed Child of God. There are some basics that you must start with. For without the first step, you cannot move forward in your walk with God. It has been said that "the first step is the hardest", and indeed it is.

Now, as you all know, we are not born mature Christians. I Peter 2:2 "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:" Being born into the family of God is like our natural birth. We are born helpless and new, requiring the easiest food to digest. God's food is His preserved word. As we grow spiritually, just as when we grow physically, we can begin to eat heartier food! So as I spent more and more time in the Bible, I was able to draw closer to God. And as I grew closer to God, He burdened my heart to turn from some sin I had in my life that was hindering Him from using me. Once I repented, with His help of course, God really began to use me!

So you see that spending time in the Bible is the first step to living a life committed to God. As we move on to the next step, you will see why this is essential to other areas of a Christian's life.

A committed Christian desires God's way! Psalms 25:4 "Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths." If you truly want to be in God's will, He will show you the way! Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Can you honestly say you are committed to God's ways and to God's will?

One side note I might add here is this: God tells us in Revelations 3:15 "I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot." 16 "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." Will you commit today to being either hot or cold? God does not want fence-straddlers nor does He want wishy-washiness! He would rather you give either your all or nothing! There is no half-way with God. You either are or you are not. Which will you commit to today?

Friend, why not today give up following your will and instead be committed to fulfilling God's will for your life. I John 2:5 "But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him." 6 "He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked." We know from this verse that we ought walk as Christ walked. And one of the things about Christ Jesus was that He so earnestly desired to do the will of His Father! Luke 22:42 "Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." Can you say that you are committed to God's will?

Let's look for a moment at these first two steps together and see how the first is essential to the second.

If you want to be committed to doing God's will, how is it that you can know God's ways and be committed to them? God tells us that He gave us His word so that we may be properly equipped to serve Him! II Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:" 17 "That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works." Look at that word through(ly) for a moment. I looked it up in my Webster's Dictionary and it means "carried through to completion; exhaustive; marked by full detail; careful about detail; complete in all respects." Do you realize what that means? Oh we should all shout for joy at that! Whatever it is that a Christian needs to know for his life can be found in God's word! There is nothing that happens in the lives of God's children that we cannot find an answer for in His precious Book! Praise God! Amen! Woo! Don't you just want to shout about that? Hallelujah!

Whatever your problem, or need, or trial, or circumstance, God has an answer for you! It takes effort on your part to search it out, but it's there!

My friend, if you are not spending time in God's book, then you will not be able to serve Him the way you could! How can you know God's will when you know nothing of God? The Bible is one of the ways that we learn about our Heavenly Father. As II Timothy 3:16 says, God's word is profitable for us! Take advantage of it! Blow the dust off of that Bible! Devote, commit, be determined to spend time in it daily!

Just a few weeks ago I was speaking with a young woman who has been saved about 12 years or so. She wanted to know if she could ask me a question, and I said sure she could. She said that someone had told her that God was not a man, and she wanted to know if that was true. I said of course it's true. God tells us who He is in His word! She was taken totally off guard because she thought she was right and the other person was wrong. If she had just taken some time to search the scriptures, she could have known who God is! Isn't it sad that God's own children do not even know who He is?

And sadly this is the way it is with many of His children. One can be saved without being a committed, determined Christian. Some people have the notion that getting saved is all there is to it. They think that after salvation, well, that's it! They're in! That's all that counts! But what a blessing they are missing by not being committed to the God who loves them so!

But God also tells us that true faith produces works in the life of the one professing faith. James 2:17 "Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." Beware! If you have no desire to serve God, then maybe you have some business to take care of with Him!

If we are going to talk about becoming a committed Christian, there is one Very important thing we cannot leave out! Prayer. Oh how my life severely lacks in this area. I know I will stand ashamed before my Lord one day if I don't make some major changes in that area. It is odd how I seemed to pray more before I got saved than I do now.

Of course, it may be that my prayer habits have changed. I now "pray without ceasing," something that I never did before. And it's really a blessing. If someone asks me to pray for them, I do it right then. Or if they come to mind during my day, I pray for them then. You see, God does not have a specific time we must pray to Him each day. There is no rule saying we have to pray at bedtime. Although uninterrupted prayer time with the Lord is essential to staying close to Him.

God is always there waiting to here from us. I Peter 3:12 "For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil."

God is our Heavenly Father who owns the "cattle on a thousand hills." And just like our earthly father, He is there to meet our needs, listen to our problems, or accept our praise. Now, God knows what we are going to request of Him before we ever even bow our head! But He still desires to hear you ask Him. Why? Well, I think it pleases Him to know that you are putting your trust in Him to provide your needs.

I believe that this is one of the reasons prayer assists us in becoming more committed to God. When we begin to realize that we cannot do it all on our own, and we put our trust in an all-knowing, all-powerful, loving, compassionate, merciful God who always knows what's best for us, we cannot help but be dedicated to His ways. If you ask, you better trust Him to bring it to pass. Or trust that he will show you the way in which you should go!

If you make sure to praise Him in through prayer, then it will become easier to see Him at work daily in your life. Prayer is talking to God! And is there any better way, except through the Word, to stay close to the one who first loved us? Imagine what prayer and the word coupled together could accomplish? Praise God! You surely would not have a hard time seeing God then!

Just the other day, my little four-year-old daughter asked me if Jesus has a telephone! It was such a sweet and innocent inquiry. Of course I told her no He does not, but explained that God has a way for us to talk to Him. That being prayer.

Isn't it a shame that we spend only a fraction of our time in prayer compared to what we spend on the phone? We have so much time to talk to everybody else but we leave the most important person out. And He is the one who can do the most for us! We spend so much time complaining to other folks when we could be laying down those burdens at Jesus' feet. Luke 6:12 "And it came to pass in those days, that he went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God." Have you ever prayed all night? I can only think of one time that I came even remotely close. It was during a terrible storm and my children were asleep on the other side of the house. I slept fitfully that night, but each time I awoke I was praying for the safety of my children. What a comfort to be able to put my children's safety into the hands of the only one who can bring all things to pass.

Acts 6:4 "But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word." My hope for you is that you will begin to give yourself continually to prayer! It will keep you close to God, and keep you in His will more than ever before.

Acts 12:5 "Peter therefore was kept in prison: but prayer was made without ceasing of the church unto God for him." How I wish we all would pray like this for those experiencing trials in their lives! What we could accomplish for our brothers and sisters in Christ if only we would pray without ceasing for them! Oh think of the wonderful things that would happen in our lives.

Don't neglect our means of communicating with the One who loves us more than anyone ever has, or ever will. Praise Him, thank Him, honor Him, and lift Him up through your continuous prayer! Get committed to a life of continuous prayer.

The next step addresses hindrances to being a committed Christian. What exactly keeps Christian's from being committed to the Lord? Titus 2:11 "For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, 12 "Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;" So many people refuse to obey this verse! They let the lusts of this world blind them to the joy of being 100% committed to their Savior!

I Corinthians 3:1 "And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ." How would you like to have been the folks that Paul was addressing in this passage? I think it would be quite embarrassing! But sadly we have Christians today who could very well wear the same shoes as these early Christians. Friend, if you have a carnal mind, if your mind and heart is more on worldly and temporal things of this life, then you are still a babe in Christ! You will never grow if you continue like this! You cannot grasp spiritual things when your heart and mind is carnal and filled with worldliness. Will you right now commit your heart and mind to the things of Christ? Whatever the distractions that keep you from being committed, give them over to the Lord! Ask for His strength to rid your life of them. Ask Him to take away your desire for them, and commit to making Him the center of your life!

If cars, money, clothes, vacations or whatever remain the center of your life, and not Jesus, then you will not be able to grow in the Lord! You will never be able to be a committed Christian. Instead, why not commit today to laying up heavenly treasures and lay aside the treasures on earth? Commit your heart to heavenly treasures that will last for all eternity! Matthew 6:19 "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:" 20 "But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:" 21 "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Dear sister (or brother) in the Lord, after you have committed your heart to storing up heavenly treasure, and have committed to making Jesus the center of your life instead of worldly treasures, why not commit yourself to walking in the Spirit by which you are lead! Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith," 23 "Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." 24 "And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts." 25 "If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." The Fruit of the Spirit is actually the attributes of our Father in Heaven right?

Let me explain. All born again believers have the Spirit of God dwelling within them. Romans 8:9 "But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his." He is called the Holy Spirit. And the outward sign of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit is the Fruit of the Spirit! This is how people see God living in us. So why not be committed to allowing that fruit to shine brightly in your life. Trust me! Others will notice the change in you! And that could be another commitment! Letting others see the Light of Jesus in you (Matthew 5).

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." It is so obvious that God is very concerned with what we fill our minds with! Music, reading material, TV, even friends and relatives! Do these things (and people) fill our minds with good, godly thoughts? Do they make you think of the things of God? How can you be committed to the Lord when you've got this afternoons love scene from your favorite soap opera running through your head? Or what about that trashy song from the radio? You know the one. The singer speaks of drunkenness and lewd behavior, cursing and taking the Lord's name in vain! Or that trash novel with the dirty words and explicit love scenes described at length and with much detail! Are these things pure? No way! What about your next door neighbor who tells the dirty jokes? Can you tell me that you can listen to his jokes and not think on them later on? What kinds of thoughts do these jokes put in your mind?

Today will you commit to putting away the smut and commit to filling your mind with God's holy word? For your listening pleasure, fill your mind with godly hymns and praise music! Commit yourself to talking to people who lift up the name of the Lord! Praise God! Hallelujah!

God also tells us we should do all to the glory of God! I Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." What more can I say? Can you say the things you do bring glory to God? Do you even try to bring glory to God in all you do and say? If not, starting today commit to making an effort to bring glory to God in all things!

One of the things I so love about the book of Psalms is that it speaks so much of rejoicing in the Lord and praising Him before the congregation! Do you do that? Do you stand up in Church and testify for the Lord? Do you lift up His name? Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice." Do you rejoice in the Lord? One of the reasons we gather together on Sunday's is to worship and praise the Lord! Psalms 111:1 "Praise ye the LORD. I will praise the LORD with my whole heart, in the assembly of the upright, and in the congregation." I want to challenge you today to commit yourself to worshiping and praising the Lord! Both in Church and in your everyday life! You will be richly blessed. He has done so much for you! Did you know that by praising Him publicly you are also bringing honor to Him?

You will never know what a blessing it is to praise the name of the Lord if you never try! God says in John 4:24 that He is a Spirit, and we must worship Him in spirit and truth! Friend, outward worship without worship from your spirit is worthless to the Lord! Put your heart into it! Get excited about all that God has done for you! I am so glad that I can now rejoice in the Lord always! I'm saved Praise God and if nothing else, I can always praise Him for that.

Matthew 5:10 "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Praise God for persecution! Do you know that when you are committed to doing the will of God that you will suffer persecution? Hey, you even suffer persecution in well doing! I Peter 3:17 "For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing." Praise God! If you're being persecuted, you must be doing something right! What are things that a Christian is persecuted for? Witnessing; living a separated, godly life; praising the name of Jesus! That's just the tip of the iceberg. Why not today commit yourself to the fact that persecution will happen for the cause of Christ.

Whatever we do for the Lord, we're gonna face persecution. I Peter 4:12 "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:" God says it should not be surprising to you that you suffer for the cause of Christ! Persecution in the name of Christ should not be thought of as something out of the ordinary.

In fact, we know that Jesus was persecuted and that Jesus suffered for us! I Peter 2:21 "For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:" Friend, commit yourself to suffering for the One who suffered to bring you life eternal! That is the very least we should be willing to do for Him!

Look at these two verses with me for a minute. II Corinthians 4:16 "For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day." Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." I think if you're a committed Christian, if you're committed to Jesus, and if you're committed to being in God's word daily, this attitude of commitment will help to faint not! If you're not determined in your walk for Jesus, at the first sign of trouble you'll be wanting to get out! I can stand up and say today that I was not committed like I should have been and I quit on God for a while because I was facing persecution from some fellow Christians. And I know I missed a blessing because I didn't continue in God's will. Don't let this happen to you. I know now that I should have been praising God for what was happening instead of quitting on God. I Peter 2:20 "For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God." I was not committed like I should have been!

Isaiah 6:8 "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." How many of us Christians could honestly say that we would follow when we hear God's voice calling us to go? When that missionary is asking who will go here or there to win souls for the Lord, do you try to slide down in the pew and hide? You can't hide from God! When the preacher is looking for a Sunday School teacher, do you look the other direction? God needs soul-winners and committed workers! He calls us all for that duty! Where are you?

We allow so much to keep us from going out and working for God. "Here I am! Send Me!" Five little words and yet they freeze on our tongues because we are gripped by fear, worldliness, and an uncommitted heart! How much do you Really love God? Mark 12:30 "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first and great commandment." Commit your life to loving God with your heart, soul, mind, and strength so that when He calls you, you can say "Here I am! Send me!" Sweeter words could never be spoken to the Father who loves you so much!

And after you have committed yourself to following God's calling, why not commit yourself to tireless service to Him? Oh, I know how hectic things get and how much time work and your family requires. And I realize that sometimes we get discouraged and just want to give up! But don't! Again, God tells us: Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." And in II Thessalonians 3:13 "But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing." Commit yourself to doing God's work even in the face of persecution, fatigue, hardships, and a hectic life! If we can't find time for God, we are simply too busy and our priorities are out of order!

The most important commitment we can make to the Lord is actually found in a commandment. Mark 16:15 "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." Will you this minute commit yourself to following Jesus' command to preach the gospel to every creature! Oh how wretchedly I fail God every day in this! How many people will die and go to hell because I did not take the time to share Jesus? Why is it that this is so hard for us to fulfill? Are we ashamed of the gospel? Do we fear being rejected and hated? Do we fear being scorned and laughed at? Didn't Jesus himself suffer such as this and much, much worse? These things I write to you are the same excuses I use everyday and I know I will stand before the Lord and give an account. Oh the shame! Commit yourself this minute to winning souls for the Lord! For no other commitment could be greater than that of rescuing a soul from hell!

Today my friend will you not commit to growing closer to Jesus? Commit to learning more about God? And commit to serving Him every minute of every day? How about committing yourself to praying for others as is so often commanded of us? There is joy in knowing, loving, serving, and talking to the Father who so willingly gave us His son, and the Son who so willingly gave up all that He had, so that we might be set free! Romans 12:1 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." 2 "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." It is reasonable to God that you present yourself as a living sacrifice to serve His will! Reasonable means that God isn't asking too much of you considering what He has done for you! Commit to sacrificing your life in service to God!

In closing I would like to encourage you not to get discouraged if you slip and occasion. We all do it. It's just the nature of our flesh. But the difference between a Christian and lost man is that we have God holding us up! Psalms 37:23 "The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way." 24 "Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand." So don't worry if you mess up now and again. God is right there. Holding you with His hand! A committed Christian is one who is consistent in the way he lives his life. That does not mean we don't make mistakes every now and then.

I Corinthians 10:12 "Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall." Also, don't get high-minded now that you are walking closer to the Lord! That is so easy to do. You start judging other Christians. It's just a big mess! Watch out. Remember, pride cometh before a fall.

If you are truly serious about the journey to becoming a committed Christian, and you begin to take the steps mentioned here, you will soon see evidence of your commitment. For instance, every time you look at or speak with people the first thought you should have is where they will spend eternity. Another way to know if you are living the committed life is to look at your life in general. Every moment of your life should be spent trying to please God. A life lived for God will be godly and separated. One thing I have noticed in my growth as a child of God is that growth in one area leads to growth in another. So, here are some areas that you may soon be working on. They all have scriptural references, but I'm going to make you do a little work! Take each commitment and search out the reference for it in your Bible! Listen now! Don't just read the verse that corresponds! Study the entire passage/chapter! Who knows! You might learn more about God! This is by no means an exhaustive list, but as you begin to be aware of being a committed Christian, you will find God has lots for you to commit to.

Be committed to sowing seeds and watering
Be committed to living a life pleasing to God
Be committed yourself in taking up your cross daily
Be committed your family in serving the Lord
Be committed to being meek, forgiving, and long-suffering
Be committed to being a doer of the word, and not just a hearer
Be committed to putting on kindness & love, letting God's peace dwell in you
Be committed to serving ONE master
Be committed to looking for the Lord's coming.
Be prepared!
Be committed to raising your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord; and train them up in the way they should go
Be committed to hiding God's word in your heart (memorize it!)
Be committed to letting the word of Christ dwell in you
Be committed to bearing the burdens of others
Be committed to assembling together with other believers for fellowship and worship!
Be committed to encouraging other believers and edifying one another
Be committed to serving God without fear.
Be committed to using your talents for God!
Be committed in waiting patiently on the Lord.
Be committed in bridling your tongue.
Three verses for memorization:

Psalms 37:5 "Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."

Proverbs 16:3 "Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established."

I Peter 4:19 "Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator."

The End

The Priceless Woman...

BY: Julia M. Faulkner


Biblical teachings on being a godly, virtuous woman, wife, and mother who strives to have a godly home


Not long ago I received a piece of email from a sister in the Lord who had read a study I did on wifely submission. She said that she was about to begin teaching a Bible study on that very subject but was struggling as to how to teach the concept of submission to women who had little or no understanding of what submission really involves. I realized then that the principals of submission that we find in God's word are so often taken out of context, misunderstood, or misapplied. Women need a better knowledge of how to adorn their spirits, what submission really is, and what their role is in the home. If they are taught clearly what God's word says, then they can begin to put those principals into action to become not only a hearer, but a doer of the Word. Imagine the dramatic change in homes across this land if folks would but heed godly principals!

Oft times we read something in the Bible and think, "Hmmm. . . that's really good! Well, if that's what God wants, then that's what I'll do." But then we don't study it out any further and nothing happens. If we are to understand God's will we must study, study, study! Compare scripture to scripture so that you may know the whole counsel of God on a matter! Search out the scriptures to find out everything God has to say. A Strong's Concordance is helpful in this method as you can do a word search on particular words and phrases.

Another helpful way I have found in better understanding a particular passage is to use a Webster's Dictionary (the older the better!) along with my Strong's Concordance. Many times I can get a better grasp or a clearer understanding of a verse or a concept by knowing what certain words mean. By knowing the definition of a word, you can also better know the context of a verse. So often one word has many meanings. By comparing scripture with scripture, and also knowing what a particular word means, God's word really comes alive to us and it is easier to know how to apply it to your life.

Some time ago God started dealing with me about a "meek and quiet spirit". I knew the passage well, but since I did not really know what that meant, it was impossible for me to put that principal into action. I began to study what these words mean and it was such an eye-opener as I began to dig deeper in God's word. Now that I have a better knowledge of what meek means, I can know how to apply it in my life. That led to studying more about the adorning of a woman's spirit, which I have been able to share with several other women. It is so amazing that women see what God wants from reading His word, but that no one has ever shown them how to apply it to their lives or exactly what it means! It is never enough to just read God's word, we must study it and become a doer!

I received such a blessing from teaching other women about the proper adorning that God intends for them. It was disappointing when the study was over but as I was studying my Bible one evening the Lord opened another door concerning the wise woman. This study booklet will be those two studies together, plus much more. I have much running through my mind right now, not to mention all of the notes I have written down. It seems like I'll never get it done but have begun to write down what the Lord has shown me and I am very excited to be sharing it with you.

Throughout the study you will find definitions for many, many words. I hope that after you have read and studied this book and compared it to God's word that you too will have a better understanding of what a godly woman is and how to have a good home. Most words you see underlined will be defined in this study booklet or are key words to this study.

God says that we are to love not in word but in deed and truth (1 John 3:18). If you truly love your home, your husband, and your children then I pray that you will not only confess it to them with your mouth, but that you will openly show it by applying the principals we find in the Bible. If you know that your home is not all that it could be, and that you need some improvement too, please prayerfully consider what it is that needs changing and ask the Lord to help you make these changes. Maybe it's your attitude that needs an adjustment!

If you are not yet married, I pray that this little book will prepare you for the most fulfilling role in the world! So many are not willing to put forth the effort necessary for a good marriage and home. Oft times it is due to pride and a selfish heart that marriages and homes fail. It is so important that we begin equipping our young women for marriage with the knowledge of God's will.


Let the Lord Build Your Home
Psalm 127:1 A Song of degrees for Solomon. Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

I believe that when a home is in ruins it is because somebody did not allow the Lord to build it for them. Psalm 127 has always been one of my favorite passages in God's word. I used to call it my theme-passage! However, I was always perplexed by verse one because I didn't quite understand how the Lord could build your house for you. Like many people, I was always of a mind that we are self-reliant and only need the Lord when we're in trouble. In fact, this verse really almost made me feel rebellious. I think that at that time I wanted things done the way I thought that they should be done. I didn't understand about following God's will and I was trying to lean on my own wisdom, understanding, and desires. However, from God's word I have learned that this path only leads to destruction. Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

As I've grown in the Lord, I have come to see that His way is always best. In the long run it saves time and heartache. As the motto goes: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! It is always easier to do things the right way the first time than to have to go back and fix it!


How Not To Build A Home
When folks follow the way that seems right to them, the destruction it leaves is at the least a home over grown by weeds. However, it can also lead to a broken home. The following verses clearly show us why homes often fail:

Proverbs 24:30 I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; 31: And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down.

Let us consider that for women our field and our vineyard is our home!

The person who is void (empty, lack, marked by absence) of understanding is one who does not know God's will nor His ways. In other words, this person is either not born again and thus cannot know God's will; is new in Christ and is still a babe; does not study God's word to find His will for her life. She also may not have a good example to follow. No one has ever shown her or taught her about God's will.

Certainly you cannot let the Lord build your home if you don't know His will. For the woman who lacks understanding, her main problem is that she is ignorant (unaware, uninformed) on how to let the Lord build her home.

Now, I do not want to down-play the seriousness concerning the woman who lacks understanding but in my heart I believe that the woman who is slothful has a much more serious problem. A person who is slothful is inclined to sloth. That is, to have a disinclination (be in a state of unwillingness) to action or labour. In other words, the slothful is not willing to labour or act on the understanding that God has given her. She is just not willing to put forth the effort necessary to follow the principals for a good, godly home. She probably knows and even understands what it is the God says she must do, though she has a aversion to exertion (effort).

Webster's dictionary says this of effort: "implies the calling up or directing of energy by the conscious will; exertion may describe the bringing into effect of any power of mind or body or it may suggest laborious and exhausting effort". From these descriptions of effort, it is obvious that the slothful woman knows what she has to do but she avoids any serious attempts at building a good marriage and home because she is inclined to avoid the effort necessary to do so. Is it no wonder why her home is overgrown and broken down?

I am sure that you sisters agree with me that being a wife and mother and keeper at home is definitely laborious, exhausting, and toilsome! It does take an effort on our part to make a nice home for our families, to raise and train up our children, to be a helpmeet to our husbands, and to be the godly woman the Lord wants us to be.

I believe that it is very easy to fall into slothfulness because being a woman can be tiresome. That is why you must always lean on and gain your strength from Him! II Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. When you feel weak and cannot bear another day of bearing the burden of being a wife, mother, woman that is when you can be your strongest because it is His perfect strength you need!

Do you recall in Proverbs 31 what God says the virtuous woman is clothed in? Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. (Proverbs 31:25). Do you ever wonder about her strength? Where does it come from?

Notice that verse 30 goes on to say Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:25). She who fears the Lord has great reverence of Him. That is to say that she shows honour or respect to Him. What in the world does that have to do with strength though?

Well, Webster's Dictionary says of revere: to show devotion and honour to someone. An interesting side note is that revere implies deference and tenderness of feelings towards someone. What a lovely thought this is when you consider that deference to someone else is respectful regard for another's wishes! The root for deference is of course defer, which is to refer for decision.

The virtuous woman's strength comes, I believe, from her fear of the Lord. She is devoted to Him and has tender feelings to Him. She knows what His wishes are for her in regards to her role in marriage and often refers to Him in life's daily decisions. She leans on Him and trusts Him to hold her up and see her through each day so that she does not become slothful. In doing so, she is honouring God. What a perfect, Biblical example God has shown us through His word! Such strength can only come from the Lord.

Before we move on to talk about what understanding is, notice one more thing about Proverbs 31:30. Once more it says: Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. This brought to my mind Proverbs 9:10 (a) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. The time in her life when she began to fear the Lord was the day she gained wisdom. Keep that in mind as we move on to talk more about wisdom.


What is Understanding and Where Does It Come From?
Is being slothful any worse than being void of understanding? In all reality, no it's not since the end of both is destruction. What we have seen is that the slothful is not willing to put forth the effort necessary to do God's will and she who is void of understanding is ignorant, or unaware, of God's will. Let's talk more about understanding now.

Strong's Concordance says that understanding has to do with the will or intellect, wisdom. (We will talk more on wisdom later in the study). The Webster's dictionary is a little more in depth on the subject. Specifically it says that it is discernment, insight; the power of comprehending; the power to make experience intelligible by applying concepts and categories. Now, if you look at the word understand, it says that it is to grasp the meaning of.

What are we trying to gain from this study? Very simply, we want to understand, comprehend, discern what God's will is for a woman. More specifically, we want to understand why God created woman, for what purpose, and also how she may have a successful home. The woman who has understanding in the area of her womanhood has come to know or recognize mentally why God created her and what is her life's work in both her marriage and her home.

The virtuous woman obviously has a good understanding of the Lord's ways! She knows God's will and applies the concepts she has found in His word in building her home.

Now, you may be asking where this understanding comes from! There are two excellent ways for a born again daughter of the King to understand God's plan for building a home.


Counsel from God's word
The first is through the reading of the Holy Bible. II Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. Everything that a Christian needs in this life as far as instruction in daily life can be found in God's word. Verse 17 clearly states that it is given to us so that we can be "thoroughly furnished unto all good works". I hope that you would agree with me that a good, godly home is a good work. If you do agree with that statement, I hope that you would also agree that God has given guidelines in His book to help build that kind of home! Once you do start digging in the Bible, you will see that the Lord has given much instruction to women on how to adorn themselves, on a woman's role, and on building a good home. This has been a very exciting study for me to do and I pray that you too will become excited about learn how to let the Lord build your home.

I Peter 3:18 says: But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

How can we grow in the knowledge of the Lord? Only through the study of God's word. II Timothy 2:15 Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. If you do not want a home full of thorns and broken down walls, then get in God's word and study, study, study!

A good practice as you study God's word is to pray beforehand and ask Him for wisdom. He has promised to give it to those that ask it of Him with the faith that it will be given to him. James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. Since wisdom is the right use of knowledge according to Webster's Dictionary (1828 version), then in essence you are asking God to help you to rightly use the knowledge you gain through the reading of His word.

I Corinthians 3:1 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. 2 I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able. If you do not regularly get into God's word you will never grow to be a mature Christian. It is very difficult to understand the spiritual when you are carnally minded. In my humble opinion, many women reject God's will and way for them because they are carnally minded. Who are the carnally minded? Those who are more concerned with worldly, temporal things instead of the godly and spiritual.

What many Christians do not realize is that they will be spiritually starved if they do not have a regular time of study of God's word. Matthew 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Just as we cannot live without proper nourishment for our bodies, nor can we survive in this world without proper spiritual nourishment! You can get three square meals a day, but you will never be completely satisfied without a feeding from God's precious word. Your soul will be longing for nourishment, too!

There have been many days when I have neglected my personal Bible study time with the Lord. The consequence of this was that there was a big emptiness, a void, that day, and sometimes even the next! We must be fed daily from the word of God.


Counsel Of A Godly and Aged Women
Now, I hope that you would agree with me that we have seen that God's word should be our final authority in all matters. However, that does not mean that we cannot go to others for spiritual counsel. Much is written in the book of Proverbs about seeking godly counsel in matters. One of my favorites is Proverbs 24:6 For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counselors there is safety. But we must always make sure that the counsel we receive does not violate anything in God's word, and this brings up another point I would like to make.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Sisters, whatever counsel we receive of others we must always remember that we have a head over us. That is, our husbands. I believe that God teaches us that wives are under the authority and protection of their husbands, and that the wives are to obey only their husbands and God's word. Just because we may seek counsel on a matter does not mean that we are bound by what that person tells us. Sometimes the counsel we receive can cause rebellion, strife, and contention in a marriage. So, please be very careful when seeking counsel, even from the aged and the wise.

Now, having established that, let's move on to the next source of wisdom: the aged women. Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Who is the aged woman? Does have a lot to do with her age? I believe that an aged woman could be one who has been saved for several years, or one who has been married for several years, with children, and has established her own godly home and who has much experience in matters concerning the home. This woman is the one who possesses the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding that would be helpful in showing the younger how to build a home. She is to be a teacher of good things such as being sober, how to love your husband and children, how to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, obedient to one's own husband.

However, before we continue on, let me say that an aged woman must meet some qualifications other than just being a teacher of good things.. Specifically her behavior must be that which is suitable to holiness. She is not to be a false accuser, nor given to much wine. Maybe like a Sara who obeyed her husband and called him lord. How can a woman teach good things when her own life doesn't resemble anything close to godliness? Not all aged women are godly, nor do they live their lives as such. Maybe she can teach some practical things about keeping house or child-rearing, but she must be able to teach something of a godly, virtuous character also.

God just told us that all of these things are good, so why is obedience to one's husband always a stumbling block for so many women? It is because they have been deceived by the world's teaching! The world's ways can have such an impact on our homes, and the world says that a woman who is submissive and obedient to her husband is nothing but a door mat. If more young women had an aged woman teaching her the importance of obedience to her husband, then I believe many homes would be much more peaceful! Again, looking back to God's word, we see that obedience to one's own husband is a good thing! I praise God for the aged, godly woman that teaches the younger these good things, and thus counters the unwise and ungodly counsel that so obviously saturates this world today.

God says that we are to all bear our own burden. Galatians 5:5 For every man shall bear his own burden. Burden in the context of this verse speaks of one's duty or responsibility. Sisters, we are to bear our own burden's and not put them off on other's. This includes loving our husband and children, and, as we read in Titus 2:3 - 5, we are to be keepers at home. That is a woman's duty, and God says she is to bear it! If you don't love your husband properly, some other woman will gladly do it for you. If you don't love your children properly, the world will do it for you. If you don't keep your home properly, then expect it to be overrun by thorns and nettles, and for the walls of it to be broken down (in other words, expect it to fall to pieces).

I believe that this is why God wants the aged to teach the younger! Loving your husband and children, and keeping a home, is no easy task and we need all the teaching we can get to do it right! They have been through it all already and can offer both practical as well as Biblical advise as to what you should and should not do to be a good keeper at home. Nowadays we have the likes of the women's lib and N.O.W. training up the young women! They have tossed God's beautiful way of doing things and replaced it with their own ways! No wonder we are seeing so much destruction around us! Their way seems right but considering the destruction that has come with it, we can be rest assured that it is not.

Women's liberation has deceived us into thinking that the keeping of the home should be divided equally between the husband and wife and what we have ended up with are contentious women! Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. So many wives have become full of contention and anger because they are expecting their husbands to do something that they are not required by God's word to do!

Certainly it is not wrong for your husband to occasionally vacuum or wash the dishes, but it should not be expected of him! I thank the Lord for the godly woman who shared this bit of wisdom with me. I am now joyfully bearing my burden and am filled with contentment knowing I am doing things "by the Book"!

What the world's way is doing is causing strife and contention. How is that? Well, consider that many arguments between a husband and wife are the result of the wife constantly nagging her husband that he never does "his share" of the housework. Once again I point out that this is her burden, not his. God never commands the men to be keepers in the home, but it is the women who are to keep the home. The reason that wives have become so contentious in this area is, I believe, that the aged woman has become slack in her duty in teaching the younger to be a keeper at home and now the heart of the younger is saturated with the teachings of the world in this matter.

In every secular woman's magazine we see article after article that says that the husband and wife should share equally the housework and so many have bought into this line of thinking. But this goes directly against the word of God. Could this be what God was talking about when he said in the latter part Titus 2 5 that the word of God be not blasphemed?

Many women will say though that with both spouses working it is only fair for the husband to help out around the house. Again, women are commanded by God in His word to be the keepers at home! The world says every woman needs a career outside the home. God says that the home is the woman's career, and her first priority, her burden, is to look after the needs of her household. God help us do just that and give us aged women willing to teach it!

If a woman is to work outside the home, it should be the exception rather than the norm. When a woman works outside of her home, something must suffer and it is usually that she is no longer able to look well unto the ways of her household (Proverbs 31). Possibly at this point many women are saying, "But I have to work! We just couldn't make it without my income." This again makes me think of Proverbs 14:12 because we try to do things the way we think are right, but in the end there is only destruction. However, I believe with all my heart that if we are true and faithful to the commandments of the Lord that He will in return bless us with all we need to be able to do that! If you have realized in your heart that God really wants you at home instead of in the workforce, but you're concerned about the financial burdens you face, you need to let go of it and trust all your needs to Him. He loves you, and He loves your home, and it will prosper if you will but do things His way. This would be an excellent area for an aged woman to teach a younger one in as she must learn to budget the money her husband gives her for household needs. Imagine not only the Biblical advise the aged woman can give, but also the practical!

God help me, as I become an aged woman, to teach the younger all the good things that He commands the aged to teach. I pray that I may help make a difference in the life and home of some young wife and mother! And young woman, if you are struggling to build a godly home, I urge you to pray that the Lord would send an aged, godly woman your way who will teach you all those good things mentioned in Titus 2! There is a lot of practical knowledge that goes along with being a keeper at home and when you first get married you're pretty much ignorant about a lot of things concerning managing a home. Don't be afraid to seek out advise from a godly woman who has a godly home! It is her knowledge and understanding that can help you as you build your own home.


Another Example: How "Not" To Build A Home
You know, aged women are not the only ones that we can look to as examples. We can look at the person who is slothful and void of understanding to know how not to build a home. Proverbs 24:32 Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction. We can consider the ruins of the field and vineyard of the slothful well, look upon it, and get instruction from it. It screams at us, "Don't make the mistakes that I did!"

The surest way to build a poor home is to follow Proverbs 24:33 Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: 34 So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man. If you remain slothful and idle, don't expect too much to come of your home. Remember that God says we reap what we sow!

Consider the contrast of the two women of Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Decide today if you will be that wise or foolish woman. The woman who follows God's will for the building of a home is following Psalms 127:1! As she follows God's ways, she is in essence allowing the Lord to build her home. But so often, even though we do know what it is the God wants, in our stubborn and rebellious hearts we must try things our way, only to be faced with destruction. Don't let this happen to you and your family.


What Does It Mean To Be A Keeper At Home?
In Strong's Concordance, keeper at (#3626) was defined as being a stayer at home; domestically inclined; a good housekeeper. It comes from the Greek word ouros that means a guard, or to be ware.

Note that tiny little word at. It plays an important part in defining a woman's role. Webster's Dictionary says that it is used as a function word. The two that best fit the phrase "keeper at home" are the following: a function word used to indicate presence or occurrence in, on, or near; used as a function word to indicate that with which one is employed or occupied. Now, if that doesn't open your eyes I don't know what will! According to God's word, a woman's presence is in the home and that she ought to be occupied by her home! If indeed she is occupied with her home, she will not have time for a career outside the home. That is our Father's will for women. Not a career outside the home for our career is our in our home, husband, and children.

Notice over in the book of 1 Timothy in chapter 5 as we read that even young widows are to remarry and continue to guide (manage) the home. This will help her to avoid becoming an idle, tattling, busybody! She is not to get a job out in the world and build a career to support herself and any children she may have. God's instructions are for her to remarry and guide her home.

Speaking of idleness, tattling, and being a busybody, let's look to God's word concerning a few characteristics of a woman truly fulfilling her role as a keeper at home.

The woman who looks well to the ways of her household is not slothful, nor does she eat the bread of idleness. How do we know that? In verse 13 of Proverbs 31 we see that she seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. How many women are working willingly with their hands in these days? The woman who wants a happy prosperous home knows that she must work hard to have it, so she works willingly! She most definitely is not slothful. Verse 27 of Proverbs 31 says that she looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Idleness means the same thing as slothfulness.

In that same chapter of Proverbs 31, the Lord shows us that this woman who so loves her home not only looks well to the ways of it and works willingly in it, but in verse 15 we see also that she riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. This means that she doesn't sleep in, but is up early making sure everybody's day gets off to a good start! I used to be terrible about fussing at my husband when he stayed in bed while I was up fixing breakfast for the children and starting my day. But now I know that that is ok, because I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing! Sometimes I catch myself wanting to get into my contentious mood because I would like to be the one in that bed while somebody else is up doing all the work! But then I think of the joy of serving my family and I'm ok with it! Doing things the Lord's way always brings joy and peace I believe.

Notice too how in verse 18 that She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night! Not only does she get up early, but she's staying up late into the night looking well unto the ways of her household. Many of you may be like me in that after all the children are in bed you do some last minute tidying of the house, or cleaning of the kitchen, or some sewing or mending, etc. That old saying certainly does fit in here: a man's day is from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done!

I believe that what the Lord is trying to tell us is that the woman who is a good keeper at home uses her time wisely by avoiding slothfulness and idleness, and willingly works long, hard days as she meets her households needs. This is a woman who is bearing her burden!

Continuing on with what a keeper is, Webster's Dictionary says this about it: one that keeps. To keep something is to preserve or maintain, watch over, take care of, tend, maintain in a good, fitting, or orderly condition. It can also mean custody or charge, to protect. How can a working wife and mother maintain a fitting home, take care of her home, or tend her home if she is gone 8 or 10 hours a day to a job outside of her home? It is hard enough when you find yourself at home 24 hours a day.

Looking back at that little word at and coupling it with keeper, is there any doubt that God wants the woman to be occupied with tending to the home? Is it as obvious to you as it is to me that God intends for the woman to watch over and take care of the needs of the home? It is up to the woman in the home to maintain order in the home! Yes, this is a laborious, exhausting, toilsome burden the Lord has given us, but rest assured that it is not without it's rewards!

Look with me to Proverbs 31, verses 28 and 31 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. . . Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. Because of all of her hard work and dedication to her home and family, this woman is called blessed by her children and her husband. In other words, her own family recognizes that she is a prosperous woman full of happiness. Notice how that both her husband and her own works praise her! That is, they boast, celebrate, rave, and commend her. Obviously the virtuous woman will be honoured by her own hard, laborious efforts. This woman has found out that being a keeper at home brings may rewards.

As we finish up this section, I want to point out one of the comments concerning the word keep in Webster's dictionary. It says that it is to not let go from one's possession or control. If we are to protect our children and our home from the threat's of the world, then we must be diligent in bearing our burden of being keepers at home. We cannot be slothful if we are to maintain control and possession of that which the Lord has given. You know that the world is just waiting to pounce on our children and drag them down with them. Satan is ready to help in the destruction of the home. Don't let this happen! Don't eat the bread of idleness, and certainly do not become slothful with the field of your home.


Building A Home with the Proper "Materials"
God tells us that a home, that is a family or home life, built by the Lord takes two things: wisdom and understanding. Proverbs 24:3 Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: In the very next verse we see what can happen when you have knowledge. Proverbs 24:4 And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

To build something is to set it up, and wisdom is the right use of knowledge. Therefore, before you can begin to build a home with wisdom, you must have the knowledge of how to do that. It becomes wisdom as you rightly apply the knowledge you have attained. And where can we find that knowledge? As discussed earlier, it comes either through God's word or through the aged women. Now, of course, there are the practical every day things like cooking, cleaning, and so on that are not specifically in God's word and that is where the aged women can really be a blessing. Then there are things like a woman's proper adorning that any woman can find by reading the Bible herself, but again an aged woman could teach her by example or through one-on-one discipling from God's word.

What exactly is knowledge anyway? Well, Strong's concordance says that it means to know or be aware. Webster's dictionary gives a more detail account of it: The range of one's information or understanding; the fact or condition of having information or of being learned; the sum of what is known.

I wonder how often we have knowledge, but do not use it rightly? We have been taught, we know a lot about what God wants, but what do we do with it?

As an example, I know that I should have a meek and quiet spirit. I also know, through studying, what a meek and quiet spirit is. But do I always have a meek and quiet spirit? No, I do not. It is during these times that my wisdom is lacking. We must take what we know from God's word and have learned from the aged women and build our homes by rightly using that knowledge.

Now, to establish is to bring something about, also to make firm or stable. Do you want a more stable home life? Then you can accomplish it through understanding of concepts, which is to say discernment, or the power to comprehend (to grasp the meaning of mentally, or to embrace). For example, in Proverbs 31 we see a woman who is bearing her burden of being a keeper at home. How many countless women have read that passage over and over in an attempt to be a Proverbs 31 woman? However, they just never fully understand the passage, and so they never achieve that dream. Certainly it is not impossible to reach that goal, but it will take knowledge and understanding through much prayer and study before it can be applied to their lives. Also, sometimes when reading God's word, we have thoughts like "Now, that's really great! I'd like to be like that." But then that's as far as it goes. That would be an instance where we would have to embrace (to take up gladly or readily) a certain principal or teaching in God's word.

What I have noticed is that wisdom, knowledge, and understanding all seem to go hand in hand! In fact, the definitions of some of the words overlap. Notice that understanding is the power to grasp the meaning of something mentally and knowledge is the range (limit or amount) of one's understanding, while wisdom is the right use of knowledge.

Understanding and knowledge is not of much use if you do not use them! In other words, wisdom is understanding and knowledge in action. I believe that we could safely say that the slothful woman is too lazy to put her understanding and knowledge to work.

God promises that the chambers of your home can be filed with precious and pleasant riches but only by knowledge! It seems that the effort necessary to gain wisdom, knowledge, and understanding is certainly worth every thing you put into it. What could be more precious and pleasant than a successful and peaceful home?


Understanding God's Purpose In Creating Woman
If you want to be a better wife, I believe that it can be accomplished by understanding why God created woman in the first place.

Sisters, do you know that God has placed us in a very special position within the marriage? We have been put in a supporting role! Now, how do we know that? In Genesis 2:18 we read And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. What exactly is a helpmeet? To hear some women, and even men, tell it, you would think that it means being a slave. To clear that matter up, let's look at our concordance and dictionary once more.

In Strong's, help meet is defined with both words meaning the same. Help and meet mean aid. Pretty simple I would say but let's take it a bit further. To aid someone is to assist or give support according to the Webster's dictionary. If you support someone then you promote the interests or cause of; assist, help, maintain, or keep it going. It also means to keep from fainting, yielding, or loosing courage (in other words, to encourage), to comfort.

Maintain is really interesting as it suggests preserving from failure or decline; to support or provide for, sustain. To sustain is to give support or relief to; to supply with sustenance; nourish. When we think of sustenance, what comes to mind first of all is food but it is defined also as being something that gives support, endurance, or strength and supplying the necessities of life.

A wife is so many things to her husband and one should not sell herself short when it comes to the position she occupies in her husbands life. God has placed her there and once the importance of being a helpmeet is realized, her attitude towards her husband and what she means to him will take on a new and greater meaning.

A man is given great responsibilities from the Lord and the Lord has placed you in the position of supporting him, supplying him with what is necessary for him to carry out his duties, promoting his interests (his home and children and so forth), giving him relief of the needs of running the home by cooking, cleaning, laundry, and maintaining the home. I truly believe that quite often a man's success is determined by the support he receives at home.

Sometimes if a man does not get what he needs at home he will find it somewhere else. The opposite of a wise person is the foolish and it is truly foolish when a wife neglects her husband, his needs, and his home. I am not saying that a man is ever justified in having his needs met outside of his marriage, but all wives everywhere desperately need to know that there are women out there that would just at the chance to fill in for them!

Do you think that when men end up in adulterous relationships that it is just to satisfy the flesh? While that may be a small part of it, it is not the whole of it. What they are looking for is love, companionship, encouragement, somebody who cares. If you don't meet these needs at home sister, then it may not be long before he finds someone who will. Remember that God said it was not good that man should be alone! A lonely man will go in search of someone to keep him from being lonely. Sometimes men will purposely seek someone out, but sometimes it happens quite by accident. Don't ever foolishly think that your husband would not get involved with someone else. Even a good man can stumble.

Therefore I encourage you to read over the definitions of a helpmeet over and over again until they are embedded in your heart and mind. How can you better fulfill the role God has placed you in as your husbands helpmeet and supporter?


Watch That Attitude!
It is a wise woman who will do all things without murmurings and disputings: (Phil. 2:14). If she is constantly grumbling and complaining about the role God has placed her in, then obviously she is not willing to work hard for a good, godly home. There is probably a little rebellion against God's ways somewhere in her heart or possibly she is still ignorant of what it is that God wants her to be or of how God wants her to adorn her spirit. That is what I would like to address at this point. It is so important for us to have a right spirit about all that we do. Let's look to a few verses to see why.

I Corinthians 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. Now, isn't our time something that we can give? If it truly is, then God wants us to give of our time with a good spirit. He does not want us to give out of resentment or that out of a feel that it is "required" of us. It is entirely possible for one to give, but to do it with an unwilling spirit and out of a spirit of "I'm gonna do this, but not because I really want to, but I know it's what God says I "have" to do".

Looking back to Proverbs 31:13, we are reminded that the virtuous woman gives of herself willingly. Here is an example of a woman who is a cheerful giver. She knows what God desires for her, she knows her responsibility according to God's word, and she follows His will with the proper attitude! A cheerful attitude can make a big difference between a relaxed, enjoyable home and a home that with no peace within it's confines.

God also tell us in I Corinthians 10:31 that whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. How in the world can we glorify God in what we are doing if we are constantly murmuring and complaining? No matter what you are doing, weather it be laundry, cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, or fixing the 500th cup of drink for your children, you are still a light to the world and your attitude can hinder others from trusting God. Somebody who is lost might begin to wonder if being a Christian is any different than the life they lead now.

In Philippians 4:11 Paul stated that not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Murmuring and complaining are clearly an indication that one is not content with the state she is in. Usually at the time of murmuring, it's because she had much rather be off doing something else and complaining is a reflection of what is in her heart. She might be submitting to her husband, or she might be cooking and cleaning for her husband, or whatever, but clearly her motive and her attitude will shine through. Even if nobody else can look inside and see what's going on in her heart, God can surely see!


The Influence of a Woman
I Peter 3:1 & 2 offers an excellent example of the influence a woman can have on her husband. 1: Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2: While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3: Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel.

Over and over in the Bible we see that wives are to be in subjection (under the authority of) their husbands. Note the reason the Lord gives for this in the above reference. "that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (conduct) of the wives;". Imagine how many lost husbands have been influenced by a wives conduct either to receive Christ or further reject Him.

I also believe that this passage could probably apply to a husband who is saved, but is not "obeying the word" in his daily walk with the Lord. If a husband is living in disobedience, then his wife can urge him back to the Lord through her "chaste conversation coupled with fear".

To be a good influence on him, her conduct must be clean, pure, modest, innocent, perfect (mature). Are there things in your life that hinder your conversation from being chaste? If you want your husband to come to the Lord, or even just to change some of his ways, consider the part you play!

The other way a woman can have an affect on her husband is through her fear, that is her respect or reverence, for his position as the head of their home. Regardless of his spiritual status he is still the authority in the home. Think of how she might persuade him through her devotion to him, her adoring of him, her honouring of him, and her deference towards him.

Let's look at each of these actions individually for a moment. Remember that all of these descriptions derive from the word fear! They all can apply in context of a wife's fear, respect, reverence for her husband.

What better word could be used to describe a wife's attitude to her husband than devoted? Webster's says that it is to give up wholly or purposefully; to center the attention or activities of oneself (on someone/something else). Isn't this exactly what God desires from you dear sister? Make your husband the center of attention around the home! Lift him up! Give yourself wholly to being his wife.

Deference goes along this same thought as it is to submit or yield to another's wishes. An interesting twist on this is that it also means ingratiating regard for the wishes of another. What's interesting is that ingratiating means something done with the intention to gain favor! Now, looking back over I Peter 3:1, 2, isn't that what you're doing when you let your husband see your chaste conversation and fear? You are trying to gain his favor and trying to get him to see his need of Jesus.

When a wife honour's her husband, what she is literally doing is recognizing his position in the home as the head and final authority. This can be done by supporting his decisions for the home and family even if she disagrees with him. Honour also is indicated as esteeming someone. That means to set a high value on! She let's him know often that he is priceless to her and nothing can take his place in her life or home. She let's him know that she values him. This leads to adoring her husband. In other words she regards him with reverent admiration and devotion. Let him know you admire him!

God says in Ephesians 5 that marriage is a picture of Christ and His Bride. The husband, like Christ, is the head of his bride. He is to love his wife and give his life for her. She in turn is to reverence him and submit to him. A wife should respond to her husband the way the Church responds to Christ. However, according to I Peter 3, even if he is not fulfilling his role, a wife must do her part, with the intention of effectively persuading him!


What's In The Heart Will Come Out!
God wants you to respect your husband due to the position in the home He put him in. Honour him as your head (I Corinthians 11:3). You make his job easier by being agreeable and willingly putting yourself under him as your authority. The word submit implies placing one's self under. . . that is, a husband isn't to force you to submit but you, as the wife, are to willingly obey. YOU must be the one to decide that you will allow yourself to be under subjection to your husband and put that decision into action.

Let me just interject here something very important. A woman can be, outwardly, submissive but, inwardly, her heart is not in it. Matthew 15:18 "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. 19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: 20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man." She is acting like a Pharisee.

As we discussed earlier, what is in the heart is usually makes itself known outwardly, and the woman who submits for show but has a nasty attitude about it inside will generally murmur about it. One of our verses was Philippians 2:14 "Do all things without murmurings and disputings:" If her heart is in the right place, it will show, just as it will eventually show if it's not. If she is going to submit to him as the authority in her home, then it must go deeper than just outward appearances.

What was the deal with the Pharisees? They were consistently making themselves clean outwardly while leaving the inside filthy. Even Christians can sometimes act like those Pharisees. Jesus compared them to a cup and saucer whose outside has been washed, but whose inside has been neglected. Outward obedience without pure motives inwardly is hypocritical on our part.

Thus we are left with the need for a proper adorning! How can a woman be in subjection and submit herself with the griping and mumbling? She must properly adorn herself! That is what we will discuss next.


Adorning The Spirit
I Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2: While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3: Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4: But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

I Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 10: But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

So many women set out to adorn, that is to beautify and put themselves in order, from the outside. To understand what adorn means will ultimately help you comprehend I Peter 3 and I Timothy 2 and apply them in your life.

Strong's Concordance gives two meanings for adorn (I Timothy 2:9). First it says it means "to put in proper order, as in decorate". It also is to "garnish or trim". Adorning (I Peter 3:1 - 3) is "orderly arrangement". An interesting note about adorning is that it is derived from a base word that means "to tend, take care of".

Webster's Dictionary tells us that adorn is to decorate with ornaments; beautify. A side note says that adorn implies an enhancing by something beautiful in itself. In I Peter 3, God describes the meek and quite spirit as an ornament! An ornament is something that adds grace and beauty. Could it be that the Lord is telling us that we are to add grace and beauty through a meek and quiet spirit, and not through the fixing of the hair or wearing of gold Read over those verses again, only try substituting in place of adorn/adorning the definitions of those words. What do you see?

God wants women to dress in modest clothing. Modesty is disliking praise or publicity; avoiding self-exposure; not outstanding. Why do you think He wants us to avoid costly apparel, pearls, and broidered hair? Because these things bring praise, self-exposure, and publicity. You see, the Lord also wants you and I to tend to ourselves with shamefacedness. That is to say to be bashful, or shrink from public attention.

Women are to be modest not only in their clothing, but in their spirit. Meek is describe as mild and humble according to Strong's. Webster's says it is not violent or strong, moderate. I believe that modesty deals greatly with avoiding excess in one's life! Be it in our dress or in our actions, God wants a woman to avoid going to the extreme as it draws unwanted attention to herself. In fact, moderate is to avoid extremes in either behavior or expression.

Look with me if you will to the woman who does not possess a meek and quiet spirit. Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. I hear so many women, when they have lost their temper with people or have just spouted off their mouth without thinking about it first, say, "Well, you know me! That's just how I am!"

Well, dear sister, let me tell you now that you do not have to be like that! In fact, God says you are to possess sobriety! This means you are to have self-control. You can control your actions and God says that you are to avoid extremes in your behavior or expression. You sin when you do not control yourself.

Now, I believe that this is the area most women struggle with the most. God made us emotional beings and it is hard for us to control our emotions sometimes. How often do we end up in tears or snapping somebody's head off? This in turn leads to bringing unnecessary attention, especially in a public setting. Certainly the angry, brawling, contentious woman draws the attention to herself and often ends up embarrassing her husband, family, friends, and others around her. While she may not being exhibiting shamefacedness, she will bring shame to herself and will have to hide her face!

Note an interesting remark in Webster's dictionary about meek. It says that meekness is enduring injury with patience and without resentment. I wonder how often we react to injury from those around us like we are supposed to. This injury is not only physical, but also emotional. So often we react to hurt by not controlling our behavior and actions. This is not what God wants for you sister. You can and should control how you respond to people. Especially your husband!

Notice how that a woman is also to be quiet. A quiet woman is marked by gentleness, and she is easy going and calm. When we loose our cool with folks, are we being gentle, easy going, and calm? I know that this is an area I lack in and wish I met each day's trial's with a quiet spirit. Mostly it is in how I respond to the pressures of being the mother to 5 children, but also the way in which I respond to my husband. Sometimes I will snap at him when he has done nothing wrong just because I am tired. But I must remember that a woman can bring calmness through a spirit that is properly adorned.

What it all boils down to is that the woman who has properly tended to herself on the inside, that is her spirit, will show the fruit of it on the outside. She will be kind; amiable; not harsh or stern or violent; mild; soft; delicate. Her behavior will be gentle in nature. She will exhibit moderation in her behavior and expression and dress to avoid drawing unwanted attention to herself. This indicates that she is not proud, haughty, arrogant, or assertive.

The meek, quiet woman does not promote or exaggerate her own worth. Instead, what she does is offer herself to her husband and children in a spirit of deference or submission. To do this, she must she must lay aside her own desire's in order to meet those of her family. Maybe this is one of the most important virtues as God has placed the woman in the position of carrying for the ways of her household and being a helpmeet to her husband.

As we move on to our final point, let me just interject here again that our loving heavenly Father said that whatever we do, we are to do it to His glory. I Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." If you live in such a way that brings a great deal of attention to yourself and not God, then that is sin. Not all attention that is drawn to yourself is necessarily sinful however. If it's the kind of attention that glorifies God and brings attention to Him, then it's ok. The point of the whole meek and quiet spirit message is that our conversation (conduct) can bring others, or even restore their fellowship, to the Lord if it is done properly. We are to be a light to the world and an example to other believers. Do not dishonour God through an uncontrolled spirit and excessive behavior and expression. That is no way to influence anyone.


A Price Far Above Rubies
God says in I Peter 3 that a meek and quiet spirit is in the sight of God of great price. Now, this made me think about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 and how that her price is far above rubies. I was always intrigued by that because I didn't understand why the Lord would say that. Recently I found the answer while taking notes to write this study.

If you recall from earlier in this study how that we discussed what it takes to make a successful home. That is knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. As I was searching out the scriptures for further verses on wisdom, I came to the following. Proverbs 3:13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. 14: For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold. 15: She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her. Now, you can just imagine my reaction as the word of God from Proverbs 31:10 that had been hidden in my heart was recalled when I read she is more precious that rubies.

Finally!! I had found the answer to the question burning in my heart! The virtuous woman, the woman whose price was far above that of beautiful jewels, is the woman who has found wisdom and understanding! Let me see if I can explain this a little further.

If you have ever read through the book of Proverbs, then you will know that God places great value on wisdom and understanding. Not only in Proverbs, but in the book of Job also.

Read Job 28 with me, starting at verse 12: But where shall wisdom be found? and where is the place of understanding? 13: Man knoweth not the price thereof; neither is it found in the land of the living. 14: The depth saith, It is not in me: and the sea saith, It is not with me. 15: It cannot be gotten for gold, neither shall silver be weighed for the price thereof. 16: It cannot be valued with the gold of Ophir, with the precious onyx, or the sapphire. 17: The gold and the crystal cannot equal it: and the exchange of it shall not be for jewels of fine gold. 18: No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearls: for the price of wisdom is above rubies. 19: The topaz of Ethiopia shall not equal it, neither shall it be valued with pure gold.

In verse 13 we read that man does not know how great the value of wisdom is. Verse 15 says that it cannot be purchased. Beginning in verse 16 and continuing to 19 we see that not even the most precious, expensive jewels can be compared to the price of wisdom and understanding. Nothing equals it's value.

Job 28:28 And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding. Earlier we talked of how the virtuous woman fears the Lord and all that fear encompasses. Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. You must first learn to fear the Lord before you can even have wisdom. The woman who possesses wisdom first learned to fear the Lord. That is to say as she began to reverence, honour, respect, and adore God, she gained wisdom.

The virtuous woman's great price comes not from jewels or costly array she may wear, or in her fancy hair-do. In fact, her clothes may be second from the Salvation Army store but that should not detract from her value. Her worth is so great because of the value of what she possesses. Wisdom and knowledge from the Lord, being of greater price than even rubies, make the virtuous woman priceless. It's not in anything material that she may possess, but rather what she knows, how she uses what she knows, and where that knowledge came from!

Dear sister in Christ Jesus, I pray that you too will seek the great wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of God. Refer often to the Lord to guide you on your way in this life. One last verse to tie it all up says my son, eat thou honey, because it is good; and the honeycomb, which is sweet to thy taste: So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off (Proverbs 24:13, 14). Once you have gained wisdom from the Lord, you can expect great rewards to follow. Verse 4 of the same chapter says and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Don't be surprised if you find yourself in the midst of a happier home and marriage for that is what God has promised will happen!


For Further Study:
Verses and passages that pertain to women or deal with wisdom:
Proverbs 12:4
Proverbs 19:14
Proverbs 20:15
Proverbs 23:12
Proverbs 22:17, 18
Proverbs 15:7
Proverbs 14:18
Proverbs 9:13
Proverbs 11:16
Proverbs 16:22
Proverbs 12:4
Proverbs 21:9, 19
Proverbs 25:24
Proverbs 27:15
Proverbs 31
Psalms 119:10 3, 104, 143
Psalms 143:10
Psalms 86:11
Psalms 25:4
Titus 2
I Timothy 2
I Peter 3
I Corinthians 11
Colossians 3:18, 19
I Timothy 5:9 - 15
II Timothy 3:1 - 6
James 3:7 - 10
Ephesians 5 (deals with daily living as well as marriage)
Hebrews 13:5


A partial list of words in the Bible used in conjunction with women:
Strive to be like these women
Guide (the house)
Bear (children)
Avoid being like these women
The End